Monday, May 20, 2013

A Question of Answers

EssEss continues about her first!

So there I was, an unsuspecting first-timer at a coffee shop of a five star.
If you've not read my earlier piece, the link is below.
To summarise however, the plan was to meet alone so we could talk freely.

While the 'alone' part didn't quite work out well, even the talk part was... a bit wanting!

So this tall, fat curly-haired dude has come back from the UK. For good. (His good, I suppose, 'cause it was definitely not for mine!)
He wanted to be back with the family. Join his father in his business. His background was research he told me.. I need not have asked in what, cos soon I realised that I was his subject!
So tell me... have you ever been victim to a psychological test on a matrimony date? Wohoo!! I had the privilege of one.
He had come prepared with a set of questions! When I say prepared, hold your breath, with a printout.

Not only that I was supposed to think over the answers and send him the replies by email the next day! I shuddered in horror to think what would happen if I failed thes test!.
At that point in life I did not give a kadak chai jawab….But all you people out there, please send in your kadak replies to the test below while I sip on my chai!

Here goes! The psychometric test for the eligible types!

1. I don't have any money and if we get married how much money will you bring with you?
2. If me or my mum or even dad had a go at you, how would you react? n if we argued what would you do and how would you handle the situation?
3. I don't have a car, would that be a problem? If yes, why?

4. If I decide not to take on my dad's business and I am jobless would you still want to marry me?

All you single women out there... Do you know the answers? The right answers? Any answers?
Come on!!!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The first date... or maybe not!

As contributed by EssEss!

I may not have been born to write. But was I born to meet the weirdest species on this earth??! Oh hell yes!!!? Guess not! And so here I am, attempting to write on this blog.

The matrimony weirdos….have met all varieties…tall, short, fat, thin. The corporate ones. The mamas' boys. “I m the NRI” MCPs. The “How have I lived without you” types.

This special one however takes the cake. It’s difficult to wash my memories of this particular event; no matter how much soap I use.

It was my first time.

Just fresh out of college my parents decided that we should start while I was young and look out for 'a suitable boy'! Not knowing any better I complied.

There's always a first time, people say. I knew this was the first time and I had no expectations from it. My parents were probably more eager. First time lucky they must've thought. So when the proposal came along, we were all willing to meet the boy. All except the boy!

He wanted it to be a date. A one to one conversation so to speak. Let's get to know each other. Let's meet without the pressure types. Well, alright, we debated. Maybe that's the norm. What were we newbies to know!

So, I met this tall, fat, curly-haired "I am the NRI" category at a coffee shop of a renowned 5 star hotel. The conversation steered from reasons for his return from UK to the new surprise bungalow bought by him in Juhu scheme. Why?! Go figure! Then the questioning started. Almost an interview. Almost an interrogation (But heck! That's another story, oops, blog post!) As I tried to take in what he was asking me and trying to answer his (kind of) weird queries without being dishonest or impolite I suddenly started feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

I knew we had decided to meet on our own so that right from the first meeting we could talk openly without the concern of two sets of potential in-laws watching us. And in all fairness I had agreed.
But suddenly our table of two had turned to a virtually table of four!

First dates are full of expectations. First time meetings in an arranged setting is even more so. At teh same time you go with your head on your shoulders knowing what is likely to happen. You know you will be sized up, looked up and down and stared at quite a bit.
But this was downright rude!

My sense of discomfort stemmed from the fact that two more people had unceremoniously joined us at the table close to us, with all eyes on me. I quickly figured out our neighbouring table, too close for comfort, was occupied by his parents! They had seated themselves there a few minutes after us and (in all probability) were taking mental notes to my answers without taking their eyes off me for a minute.

With all the prep I had done for this I had not bargained for this 5-star treatment of being stared down by potential relatives at the next table!
I squirmed, made hasty excuses, gave them one final withering look and ended this dishonest set up as quickly as possible.

(As for the questioning that happened before this, watch out for the next part of this story!)

Till then gurlz, stay cool, stay single!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Tall. Dark. And a complete waste of time!

For a lot of Indian women - young girls I should say - getting married these days is a bit of an issue.

And these are not just any one.

These are women you know. Women I know. Women we meet every day.

Each of them has a story to narrate. Well... more than one story.

About meeting men who come with strings - sometimes ropes - attached. Sometimes the strings even go back to their mothers' aprons.

Are they good looking? Smart? Intelligent? Yes. And more. They come tall, dark and... most of the time... a huge waste of time.

Which explains this blog.

The publishing rights stay with three women close to me.

Under alias, these are TeeGee, EssEss, and 2bMiranda

Three, whose trials and tribulations in the so-called market have ranged from tragic to the ridiculous.

Stories that are now up for sharing. For the real world to see.

This is a place for conversations. While we will start the conversations, it'll be great if you keep them going!