There are times when you end up meeting attractive, VERY ATTRACTIVE people during the groom hunting process. I happened to connect with this guy Vikram (name changed). Yes, another IITian and top B-school passout, Punjabi, working in the financial sector. Sounded good to begin with.
His sense of humour was impeccable and the timing of his one-liners could not have been more apt. We had a series of conversations over phone. Each conversation made me feel more connected with him. He had a sarcastic attitude towards life. I quite liked that, he usually mocked at my conversations. It made me laugh instead of getting offended. My parents were not happy with me talking to a Punjabi guy. But, by now my dad knew that it is difficult to find guys in my community. He simply refused to acknowledge it.
My relationship with Vikram took a logical turn. We decided to meet for coffee after work in a suburban mall. It was planned impromptu because he was supposed to take off on a trip to Spain the other day. “Wow”, I exclaimed when he revealed his vacation plans to me. Images of Hrithik Roshan driving in Spain with his buddies flashed in my mind. I smiled to myself and looked forward to our meeting. I took extra efforts to dress that morning in charcoal grey well fitted trousers and pink sleeveless tunic. I added some oomph factor by slipping on a pair of black high heeled sandals. I glanced at the mirror and saw an elegant and stylish lady.
I reached the mall at 7.30 pm and he arrived five minutes later. To my surprise he was not good looking. He had a narrow build, small and squeaky eyes, was dressed in a pair of denims and a casual blue shirt with a pair of slippers. We settled ourselves on a comfy sofa in the coffee shop. We had some casual conversations about our work day, our bosses and the burgeoning mall culture in India. He offered to get coffee for us. My mind was flooded with past experiences of meeting guys. I brushed them aside and glanced at Vikram. He smiled at me and my lips curved in a smile.
What followed was a series of conversations over 3 cups of coffee. The conversation just flowed naturally between us. We spoke about anything and everything under the sun- movies, dates, relationships, personalities, families, corporate life. I was completely absorbed in this experience. I was enjoying every bit of it. At some point of time, I felt sexually attracted towards him. I tried to ignore the tension but it only grew stronger with each passing moment. None of us bothered to care about the passing hours. I lost track of the people around us. All I could see was him and all I could hear was us. I was laughing or smiling at every remark of his.
He was the first one to be jolted back to reality. He looked around and saw the staff cleaning and folding tables. Perhaps they sensed our chemistry and granted extra time to us. He led my gaze towards our surroundings and I shared his embarrassment. It was 10.45 pm. I hastily looked at my phone to check if my mother had called. My phone did not display any notifications and I smiled and thanked God for gifting me with a supportive Mom. I must tell you that Moms are darlings. They may not voice their support for your desires or ambitions. But, they secretly and indirectly support you. My mom wanted me to be happy and that is all she cared about.
There was a moment of awkward silence as we looked at each other thinking what to do next. I stood up and picked up my bag and he followed me. We stepped on the escalator going down. The mall was largely empty. I was standing one step below Vikram with my body titled towards him and looking at him sideways. I had a strong urge to hug him and kiss him. This feeling had been dormant for a long time. I wanted him to grab my arms and sneak me into a corner to make out. “Is this a two-sided feeling?” is a question which is still unanswered.
He hailed a rickshaw for me outside the mall. I wanted him to stay and talk to me. With great efforts, I managed to say, “Have fun and enjoy your vacations, Bye”. He smiled and said “You take care”. I popped my head out of the rickshaw and said “Let’s talk once you are back”. Before I could see or hear his reaction, my rickshaw propelled like a rocket on the empty patch of road before joining the mainstream traffic.
My mind was racing with thoughts...
“How could I feel sexually attracted?”
“Is it right?”
“Would my date have ended differently if I was in US not in India?”
“Is sexual attraction a good reason to get married?”
“Can I go home and mark Vikram’s row as green in my tracker?”
“Will he remember me in Spain?”
I received a text from him the other day saying “It was nice meeting you, but I don’t think we are good for each other”. I wanted to stay connected with him but was not confident enough to express my desire.
To this date, his thoughts bring a smile to my face. I don’t know how he feels about the experience, does he remember me? I have his number on my phone but can’t gather enough courage to call/message him.
Vikram, if you are reading this blog and still remember me, please call me. I will love to catch up with you again in the same coffee shop.